Top Chef Episode Five or Seriously, Fuck Spike

Spike, or K-Fed as I shall refer to him from now on, is an annoying douche-bag. I believe he must have a Mary Poppinsesque bag full of fugly hats, because he is never seen without one. The one he regularly wears is bad enough but I really don't have the words to describe how hideous that peak billed monstrosity during his one-on-one with the camera was. KICK THAT FUCKER OFF. He's had his ass on the chopping block how many times? He's a mildly talented chef with a hugely inflated ego. Boring.

The winning dish looked excellent. I've normally liked Dale, but he was such a bitchy drama queen about Lisa winning for her bacon. Get the fuck over it. I love how he ripped her a new one for her negative attitude, though.

I am so glad Zoi is gone. Now we don't have to hear "Seriously guys, we're lesbians. LESBIANS. But you shouldn't treat us any different just because we're a couple," at the start of every show. And she was a shitty cook. The only bad thing about this will be Stephanie's increased whining that is sure to come.

And although I really want to the love the Kiwi, Mark, he just seems to fade into the background. I feel like he could be so much more. He definitely needs to speak out or act up or something.

Pushing Daisies

My dislike for Pushing Daisies has seemingly manifested into full blown loathing by what I view as a chronic over-enthusiasm for it. My main complaints with the show are what seems to be everyone else's favorite points.

• The seemingly constant narration is irritating. What happened to show, not tell? I can perfectly well what's happening half the time without a voice-over telling me, too. It seems to me as if the show were talking down to it's viewers with this.
• The constant unending brightness of the whole thing. You can tone it down, really.
• It's trying far too hard to be wacky and loveable. It reeks of desperation.
• Olive. Just... Olive. Especially her "Hopelessly Devoted To You" number. It made me cringe.

I couldn't get past episode two and ended up going back to the wonderfully funny Hotel Babylon. I suggest anyone else disappointed with the show do the same.